Summer Love

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
I thought you would go then come back home
I thought the cold would leave by summer
But my quiet nights will be spent alone

You said there would be warm love in springtime
That is when you started to be cold
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
But now I find myself all alone

You said then you'd be the life in autumn
Said you'd be the one to see the way
You know I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
But now I find my love has gone away

Why didn't you stay?

Greetings,

I was listening to Stevie Wonder's song "Why Didn't You Stay" and it got me thinking about today's topic. So let's talk about Summertime. More specifically the breakups, love affairs, and flings that happen in the Summer. F.Y.I. this post is pretty much going to be me going off on a mini tangent about love and relationships so if that's not what you're in the mood for this evening I sincerely apologize.

Moving on.... I'm curious. Why do so many relationships begin and end in the Summer? Is it the heat or the sun rays that draw people in? Why do they fizzle out? Is it the half naked-ness and the casual dates? Is everybody looking for a short-term summer romance? Is it a lost cause to believe a summer romance can last? What is it?

When I was much younger I remember I always looked forward to the summer because it meant no matter how lonely the year had been I'd always seemed to "fall in love" by June. The hardest part was dealing with the fact that by Late August/Early September I'd already had visions of keying up my lover's vehicle or scratching the words "you said you'd never leave" with my mail key in his candy painted siding. (whoa did I just go there? I think I did.) Don't judge me. You guys know like I know (and I know you do) when a love affair burns hot and fast it can end pretty ugly. But why does this happen so frequently in the Summer? Is it distance? Because let's face it, lots of the time a relationship starts because you're visiting some place and you randomly meet the person of your dreams only to find out they live 4000 miles away. Ugh, the story of my life...

According to Tina Kells, "The Love Lady" The problem with keeping a summer romance alive rarely has anything to do with the distance between two people and much more to do with adjusting to fitting this new person in to your regular routine. Lots of summer lovers find that once they are back in the swing of their regular life they lose touch with the magic that made the summer affair seem so special. This is not to say that summer love isn't real or that summer romance can't survive through the fall, it just means that keeping summer romance real has some special challenges.

Tina goes on to offer up a few questions to think about and discuss should you find yourself in middle of a summer romance. Check it out!

Ask yourself... (him/her)

1. Will this guy fit in with your friends?
2. Will this guy even like your friends?
3. When you talk about your interests are they similar?
   
4. Do you normally have a busy schedule that would get in the way of seeing him?
5. Do you have the means (money, a job, a bus pass, a friend with a car) necessary to get to him and spend time with him?
6. Do you have a relationship (back home) that you will have to end in order to keep this relationship?
7. If you had met this guy on different terms or at a different time (instead of on vacation) would you have even started seeing him?

Ask him (or her as the case may be)...

1. Does he have a serious relationship or did he recently end a relationship before the summer?
2. Would he have to end a relationship in order to continue dating you? If so, would he even be willing to do that?
3. Does he think that you would fit in with his friends?
4. Is he willing to make the trip to see you and does he have the means (see above) necessary to do so?
5. Is there any reason he can think of that your summer romance can't become a steady thing?

She goes on to say. When you ask these questions be prepared for answers you may not like. Be prepared for your summer romance to tell you that they aren't interested in making things long term or that they think the distance is much too far. As a general rule in life, never ask a question unless you are prepared to handle all of the possible answers. Once you have addressed all these issues and are both committed to staying together the sky is the limit! Afterall, nobody ever said that true love can't be found in a summer fling.

Well stated Tina. I'm going to keep researching this topic but while I'm busy with decoding the mysteries of summer romance....

Check out this beautiful poem by Rudy Francisco called "Love Poem"

Let's Elevate?