Self Image

Sunday, May 31, 2009


Lots of us have friends or know women who are plus-sized and love it. They rock their curves and flaunt their bods in figure-conscious clothes. They eat what they want and don’t apologize for it. They don’t chastise themselves by saying things like, “I was so bad!” after indulging in a chocolate bar or skipping the gym for a day. This might even be you.

I’d think the prevailing thought when it comes to these women is, “You go, girl!” But what if the woman is legitimately overweight, not just “curvy” or “plus-sized-as-in-Size-12-so-not-really-plus-sized”? Say she’s 50 pounds overweight but still loves her physique, is uber-confident and happy and wouldn’t know a body image struggle If it smacked her in her ample behind? Do we want to encourage the woman who loves herself, is overweight and may actually be endangering her health?

A new study out of Temple University shows that, for these ladies, having an extremely high body image can lead to health problems. Researchers studied the body image perceptions of 81 underweight, normal weight, overweight or obese women in the North Philadelphia area and found that as their body mass index (BMI) increased, two-thirds of the women still felt they were at an ideal body size.

“So the question for doctors then becomes, ‘How can we effectively treat our overweight and obese patients, when they don’t feel they’re in harm’s way?’” said study researcher Marisa Rose, MD, Assistant Professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Sciences in the Temple University School of Medicine. “It stresses a need for culturally sensitive education for this population.”

All women had their height and weight measured and completed an anonymous survey to determine their self-perceived, current and ideal body sizes. Each woman was then shown an illustration of different-sized women that correlated with increasing BMIs, and were asked which size they felt they were at currently, and what their ideal would be.

What the researchers found: While most of the participants selected illustrations of women in the normal to overweight range, about 20 percent of the obese women selected an overweight or obese silhouette as their ideal body shape. 68% (15 out of 22) of overweight participants and 84% (26 out of 31) of obese women underestimated their current BMI.

Interestingly, African-American and Hispanic women had significantly underestimated their current body size, while the white women overestimated.

This last finding is worth discussion, I think. From the way it’s portrayed in TV, movies, and just plain everyday life, there’s definitely a pervasive feeling that African-American and Hispanic women are “allowed” to be heavier, and are in fact praised for their bigger bodies. I recently spoke at a Big 10 university about body image and a freshman woman, who was black, told me that she feels unattractive and hates her body because she’s “too thin.” Meanwhile, the rest of the audience was packed with white women who spoke of the pressure to constantly work out, to be crazy thin and have teeny tiny (but still curvy!) butts and washboard abs and hips and boobs but skinny, yoga-toned arms, preferably set off by a visible collarbone.



article by Leslie Goldman
you can find this article and more like it here


"Thick Chicks" Tamara Blue (Def Poetry)

Co-Dependent Relationships

Tuesday, May 26, 2009




One of the words that became very popular in the 90s is co-dependent. Initially it was used to describe the spouses of chemically dependent people. The term gradually expanded to cover people who let the feelings and actions of another affect them to the degree that they lose control over their own lives.

Co-dependency is primarily applied to women and has a negative connotation. One rarely hears of a man described as co-dependent. Instead a male spouse of an addict who cares for house and home is looked at positively. They get accolades and recognition for the additional work that they are doing. We have a double standard in our society. What is admired in men may be frowned upon in women.

What is it about our society that has encouraged women to become co-dependent? Our culture holds women responsible for managing their families, home, and their jobs. There is little reinforcement to also care for self. Additionally, women are by nature caring about others and willing to do what needs to be done.

Molly had been married to Jeff for 28 years. They both had jobs outside the home but Molly saw herself also as being responsible to make sure the family was functioning. For many years they worked well together, he primarily took care of the house, yard and car maintenance. As Jeff's drinking increased he did less and less at home. Molly took on his tasks also. He was less and less available to the family and began staying away increasingly. Molly made sure that the kids and house were taken care of. Between her job and all she had to do at home Molly took no time for herself. One day her husband told her that he was leaving her. How could that be? She had worked so hard at preserving the outward appearance of a "perfect" marriage. Molly was the kind of person who, from the time she was little, was pleasing others. She was taught not to be selfish. When she was sad or unhappy she pushed it away saying to herself that she should not feel that way. After a while she couldn't even tell what she felt. Denial of her feelings over time blocked them out.

I see the term co-dependency as being applied negatively to women who provide strength and stability to their families. When they label themselves co-dependent they view this as there being something wrong with them. When in reality these are incredibly strong women who need to recognize that it is important to also care for themselves. That means adding a piece rather than having to defend what they have been doing. Labels, like co-dependent, limit people and get in the way of validating their strength. Instead of labels we need to give support to women who take on the responsibility of keeping the family functioning. They also need to hear the positive message that indeed it is all right for them to also care about themselves and to have expectations of others.


This article is taken from the article
Co-Dependent Relationships Burden Women
By
Kristina Von Rosenvinge


artwork
"He Needs To Get Out More!" by Thomas Fedro
click here to purchase this piece or see more of his work


Recovery

Saturday, May 23, 2009





Recovery
by Vertigo Verb




No longer being the proverbial crutch
or silently wishing I didn't care so much
pregnant with hope
giving birth to a new
a new way of thinking
a new point of view
digging deep to bury the past
hoping that the new me last
both feet on the ground
and head held high
fingers reaching
clutching the sky
it's over now
and I'm finding me
this is my recovery


artwork "Inner Peace" by Monica Stewart
visit this site to purchase and see more of her work

Pressing On

Friday, January 16, 2009






The Elevate! Lounge (sanctuary) build is finally complete!! The vibe is so low key, comfy and inviting.  On behalf of myself, Midori (Mimi) Leandros, Oriana Robertson, Sentience Nyanda, Jinkx Jewel and Toi Kohime, we welcome you! Welcome to all who are ready to lay down some burdens and help uplift someone else.  Each story is a building block - a stepping stone.  

We offer an environment that is conducive to freedom of self - in every aspect - your mind, your body your spirit.  We encourage you to learn to love God (granted I know all don't believe in the same God as me) but speaking from a personal perspective - but to connect to whatever you believe - whatever gives u strength- just connect to that and learn to love yourself all over again or more.  In learning to love (God) we learn to love ourselves and the other people we share our lives with and interact with on daily basis.  We can learn to let go of inhibitions and trust ourselves more.  Elevate is the place to explore that.  Come and join us - come and share with us!

Afresh-Anew-Revive-Renew in 2009

Friday, January 2, 2009


Introducing Elevate Lounge - a new place in Second Life where people - all people men and women can express themselves, share their lives and be in the company of others who have had the same life experiences.  I am Midori (Mimi) Leandros. This was my New Year's Resolution - not so much the lounge itself - but to open myself up more to people and share my life experiences - in hopes of encouraging someone and uplifting them - casting the light on hope.  Coincidentally, my friend Oriana Robertson has had a desire to do the same thing - and so the idea gained some momentum and we started to build and spread the word - gather our resources.

So please stay tuned as we go forth in this new venture to attempt strengthen, enlighten and elevate each other.

We are planning spoken word hour, and a free talk session - just to express and share.  For now the goals are for just one day a week - to be determined.

God Bless,
Mimi 
GET LIFTED!!
Stay focused on positivity!